rivercrossing2 (rivercrossing2) wrote in lostfanfic,

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Title: Aftermath
Autor:  rivercrossing2 
Spoilers: "Confidence Man", 1x8 and "Outlaws", 1x16 
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama
Summary: Sawyer writes a letter to his parents after the crash.
A/N: This is my first "Lost" fic. I am curious to know what you think! Any constructive concrit is welcome...and please let me know if you find anything OOC!  

He sits alone in his tent like usual, seething with anger from the destruction a certain boar has caused...knowing that killing the boar won't change this hopeless position.

After making sure (several times) that no one is looking, he tears a piece of paper from a tattered notebook he's located from somewhere deep amongst the wreckage. Feeling silly, he ponders what he's about to do, knowing in the end that something's better than nothing...and so Sawyer prepares his thoughts before reluctantly beginning...

Dear Mom & Dad:

...I failed you. I couldn’t do it. I thought I had him...but I killed the wrong man....Twice.

I left Sydney like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Now, I’m being punished...by surviving the plane crash that landed me on this island with a bunch of people who I couldn’t give a shit about and who don’t give a shit about me.

Unfortunately, you should know that my life has been a complete waste of everyone’s time (including mine), as I will most likely die here, alone...and I hope you realize that I will also most likely never find love.

I wanted to find us all some closure but I doubt I ever will.

I hope that one day you both can forgive me...and I hope that when that time comes, that I can forgive you, too.

I hope one day I can make you proud.

Love Forever,

your son, James

He stubbornly ignores the tears that carelessly smear and smudge the ink across the page.


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